Adventures in YouTubing?

At lunch today, Jon & I went to Chipotle for a good ol' fashioned Burrito Bol. We had the pleasure of eating lunch with the other Jon, who planted a good idea in my head. He told Jon that he was on YouTube and found a video of them doing security at a 311 concert in Columbia. He said we could find the video if we typed in "Columbia Missouri" in the YouTube search box. Why didn't I think of this before?!? Look at all the wondrous things I found! My top 5:

1. Attack of the Hipsters!
Every frame in this godawful montage looks like a contrived MySpace profile picture.


2. Are douchebags with souped-up cars called "carbags"?
Because these guys are definitely carbags:


3. Attack of the Fred Parry!
Check out this lame video for a lame party of that notoriously lame magazine, Inside Columbia. Also, Fred Parry is a fatty:


4. Why is that Evan I see?
Look! I found Evan playing a song at Eastside. I wonder if it was dedicated to his stalking victim of the summer:


5. Speaking of Evan's favorite lesbian...
If you skip ahead to minute 21:50 of this video, you'll see a photo montage of a fashion show that Errrn did for Andrew Shirk this summer. We audience members almost died of heat stroke, but my girl looked like a real model and such:



Special Bonus video!!!

Apparently Columbia is home to an Ultimate Fighting ring?

I hope this is a prisonyard fight, because Boone County Jail needs to toughen up its reputation:


Happy Friday, jerks!! Spring Break 07 is drawing to a close. Now it's time to top it all off with a visit to the fucking DMV. Fuck the DMV.

I've been keeping you in this dumpster for weeks now. Found this vest on a hobo and put it on you to keep you warm...

What a lovely day! Lovely day! Around noon, my landlord knocked on my door with a delivery. Buckingham's BBQ! Beef brisket! With fries! FRIES!! Okay. Maybe it wasn't that exciting, but it was my favorite kind gesture ever from a landlord. Granted, I've been letting him show my apartment to potential tenants for the past few weeks and was totally owed free BBQ for that.

I'm in Drafting Legal Instruments class now, which is usually a 2-hour long class on Friday afternoons. Professor Popcorn announced that class today will only be an hour long. TGIF, indeed.

Since the Rockford Files theme song is rolling around in my head right now, here's a special Friday treat:


It's time to blow my Rockford wad.

Here's a clip from a show in which they likened Evangelical Christianity to fringe cults:


Here's a clip from today's show where Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World plays an asshole Special Prosecutor hell-bent on blaming Rockford for the kidnapping of a union leader. Lots of 5th Amendment talk. Rockford's sexy public interest lawyer girlfriend is also included in the mix:


How could this day get any better? I'm chock-full of beef brisket and looking forward to hours of NCAA basketball tonight.

Writers Block, Cock Block, or Eastern Bloc?

Whatever it is, it's definitely not a party in my block ("block" being my noggin, of course). Block head? Block party? Bloc Party? I haven't been able to write anything lately. Emails, blog posts, etc... out the window. For instance, I've been meaning to email Jason Lee (from high school, not Scientology) for over a month now, but I can't seem to sit down and just write it! What's wrong with me? I've only been able to compose small notes to people telling them to update their damned blogs. Shotzi listened to me. Now that he's updated, I guess I should write something, eh?

Here goes...

A few weeks ago, I opened my cable bill and saw that I am now getting charged for HBO, Starz & Encore. Lame! So I summoned up the dybbuks who occupy the soul of every Mediacom employee and begged of them modify my channel settings. They listened. Now, instead of getting HBO and the like, I pay just $9.99 more a month than I used to for a plethora of mind-blowing channels (i.e. all the ones that are above Channel 97 on the Mediacom guide). Biography Channel, Style Network, G4 {showing both Arrested Development AND Cheaters daily}, MTV2, la la la... you name it I've got it. A sample of the amazing things I've encountered on my TV travels:

-- "Around the Services" on the Military Channel.
A nightly news-type show from the same brilliant minds who brought you Vietnam! Mediacom describes it as "military news from top Defense officials," but I like to describe it as a "a neo-con's wet dream." No criticism of Bush. No bad news about the war in Iraq. Creepy. I couldn't handle it for more than 15 minutes.

-- On the Game Show Network, I caught a Public Service Announcement by Howie Mandel. Also, I wrote it down:

"We all know we should spend more time talking to our kids.
The best place to do this? The dinner table...
MEAL?! OR NO MEAL?!?"

I kid you not.

-- One of the movie channels had the film called "fFolks" playing, so I checked out the description:

"Action yarn with Roger Moore as a misogynist leading a commando mission."

Sign me up, Mediacom! What ever would I do without these channels in my life?!

-- My biggest discovery thus far has HANDS DOWN been The Rockford Files. It plays on Sleuth Network (all mystery shows all day long, brah!) and I've fallen in love with a circa-1970's James Garner. Check out the Wikipedia page for it. Who knew it was actually as brilliant as I deemed it to be?!

As my own public service announcement of sorts, I made a short list of things that will automatically make you more like Jim Rockford himself. Follow these 5 simple rules and learn:

1. Never wear a seatbelt. Ever.

2. Live in a dilapidated trailer next to the ocean.


3. Call your girlfriend "cheeks" and call the bad guy "turkey."

4. Two words: Plaid Suit.

5. Basically anything you can do to look more like this would be a good start -->



Are you still reading this? I know. I'm lost in a world of Rockford.

To reward you for sticking it out this long, here are some pictures:

Jon's uber-amazing-cute niece, Ella, and Me. Hangin' out on the floor.

Me, about 23 minutes ago:

Me, about 24 minutes ago: