Legally Retarded

Does sleep apnea cause someone to become "retarded"? Or does spending too much time reviewing case books cause this? Perhaps I've always been this way and it is just now coming out. Two incidents which prove my recent lapse into childlike idiocy...

1. The lesser of the two, but stupid nonetheless (how is that just one word?). So I've been practically failing these little computer assignments we have twice a week in my Legal Research & Writing class. I finally get an email from my professor informing me that I've been doing the wrong questions the entire time, granted that the two question sets are identical, but slight differences exist in what the answers should be. I wouldn't feel so bad except that I'm the ONLY person who has been doing the wrong sets. GAH!

2. Much worse than the first. So I get an email from Linda Jacobsen's campaign manager, telling me to make sure and watch Sunday's episode of "60 Minutes." Apparently there will be an interview with one of the lieutenants who gave Bush an easy ride in National Guard duty. Ryan and I start watching at exactly 6pm. The first story is on porn in America, next story is on Jeopardy!. The episode only has ten minutes left when I turn to Ryan and the following exchange takes place:

Me: "Will this guy's interview be on tonight?"

Ryan: "It should be. These interviews only take a few minutes."

Me: "Yeah, but they have to do a little story around it, right?"

Ryan: (I don't exactly remember, but something like "shut up, i've never loved you, etc...")

Me: (after a short period of intense thought on what may be holding up the interview) DOES AN EPISODE OF "60 MINUTES" LAST TWO HOURS?

I kid you not. I honestly thought that we could be watching a two hour program entitled "60 Minutes." I've been watching "60 Minutes" all of my life and I really truly thought that there was another hour left to the show. It turns out that the interview took place on Wednesday's episode, but that is beside the point.

Damn! I'm feeling stupid!

Bush is coming to town today at 3pm-ish. Makes my skin crawl. If Columbia is such a liberal safe haven in the red, rural, rolling hills of Mid-Missouri, why is Bush here and NOT Kerry?! Kerry has only gotten as far as Jeff City, and I sure as hell don't consider that a liberal stronghold in the state. Grrr... Protest. Protest. Protest.