Lame to the XTREME Volume III: Faggot, Thy Name is Jon

or Jon's proposed alternative title for today's monstrosity of an entry:

"From God on High Himself: My Motherfucking Earthly Peeps, Don't Be The Sort of Cock Slurping Ass Scrambler That Forwards Blogs to My Parents. That Shit Will Never Gain You Entry Into The Kingdom of Heaven. P.S. Fuck All Y'all."

(I think that actually had nothing to do with me or today's entry, but I post it nonetheless. If only because I fear for my safety when he gets angry.)

Well, well well!! Here she comes... limping back into the room... "Blogarella - Queen of the Blogosphere" no more.

So where have I been, exactly? The rundown:

sick -- no -- dreadfully sick for an entire week, mostly recovered, tripping balls for 5 days off some wicked powerful antibiotics, working at Classy's, drunk, borrowing my dad's kickass car, NEW GIANT TV!, more drunk, procrastinating outlines, finally mastering the art of applying BareMinerals (holla, Momz! You know how to make me feel prettyfied), feeling too lame to blog, unexplained sadness, experiencing the supreme awesomeness of Columbia's newest swank and semi-racist Mongolian Grill Hu-Hot with Ferg, Amanda & Jon, having my rightful title as Columbia's ACLU President temporarily thwarted until next week, obnoxiously celebrating an improbable World Series win, feeling too unoriginal to come up with a Halloween costume, witnessing Eastside's own Sal Nuccio belting out "Fairies Wear Boots" while dry-humping a giant upside down crucifix, inspired, drunk, drunk, happy, feeling the itch to post an entry about my odd vacation from you, my sexy little blog.


...and all the while staying (mostly) gluten-free.

I'll write something more topical soon. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll get a detailed description of the bacterial infection in my tonsils, throat, and hangy-down thing in the back of my mouth that produced gallons of puss & mucus and rendered me wholly unable to SWALLOW without wimpering and crying like a kitten I just kicked across the floor. Speaking of, Thunderdome has wormed her way into my heart. Now I can't skin her and turn her into KITTEN SOUP like I had initially planned.