My Holiday Wish List (a work in progress):
In the spirit of procrastination, I would like to start off my holiday/upcoming birthday wish list. Here are the things that my REAL FRIENDS will buy for me:
A glamorized pink & gold Eazy E t-shirt.
A pair gold of Eazy E hotpants, or the 'Eazy E Meets Gidget Dress.'
A Golden Girls T-Shirt.
Pretty much anything from the Bust website store.
Also, I would like another "Lobsterita" from Red Lobster. While they claim to be "giants" among frozen tequila drinks, the Lobsteritas are nothing more than... PHENOMENAL!!!! Bigger than a baby's head. AND they come with a red, shining plastic necklace... with a LOBSTER on the end of it. No homo. Ask Jesse. She witnessed the monstrosity that was "LOBSTERITA."
posted by Julia @ 10:18 AM
5 Comments:
My holiday wish list...
fruit fly elimination spray that will not kill me when i spray it all over my kitchen to kill those little bastards, i don't even have any fruit.
a "he's just not that into you" christmas card that i can send out to all my friends pointlessly fucking silly boys.
motivation, i seem to have misplaced that part of the brain that makes you attend classes, read assignments and study regularly.
and finally...ryan's manhood, you got competition now be-otch.
love you.
indeed, it is late morning and i am still studying evidence and so i decided to add to my wish list...
a set of matching treadmills, one for myself and a smaller version for my 17 pound cat who is currently cutting off circulation to my feet as he snores on my floor/feet amongst my fgm papers, research assistant papers and broken dreams.
In response to Jesse's first note:
1) I am not silly.
2) I am deeper into Ryan than you'd ever know or care to see photos of.
To the second:
There's only one thing on my holiday wish list:
more fgm. (that "two front teeth" song must be a lot more graphic and disturbing in third world nations)
Every well-heeled lady should add this to their holiday wish list:
http://vgmerchandise.com/misc.html
(last item)
Don't let the sticker price scare you; discounts are available and you're all worth it anyway, ladies.
I can't in good conscience get you any of that because I don't believe in presents, friends or happiness BUT I wanted to comment on your newest post instead of the last one.
I HEARD ABOUT GRINDSTONE! That's the funniest shit ever. What if, and bear with me here, you end up in TRIAL having to PROSECUTE Sam Chou for MURDER as a CRIMINAL? AFTER you WORKED for him? Truly that is the irony that you learned about in that one class you took that devoted an entire month to legal irony. What was it called again....oh yeah: TORTS.
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