Listen here! Salud! I'm the fresh 'n' fruitinest here outlaw in the West!

Okay, so here's the scoop - Professor Devine has turned into an email Nazi since becoming Dean of Student Emails (or some shit like that). So now, every time anyone sends out a mass email announcing parties, asking for help, looking for babysitters, etc... Devine fires off these asinine emails that only serve to make him look like King Douche and piss everyone off.

So Ellen Brooke sent a request out for a puppy sitter this weekend. Devine unleashed all of his bullshit on her, and it finally pissed people off enough to speak out on it (in mass email form, of course). Everyone is giving their two cents on this (Devine has yet to respond in mass email fashion) including a 1L named Tony Nenninger. I don't know this man. I've only seen him around and at the occasional ACLU meeting. Here is his email:

From: Nenninger, Tony Robert (UMC-Student)
Sent: Thu 10/6/2005 6:45 PM
To: Smith, Antwaun . (UMC-Student); Devine, James R.; Brooke, Ellen Jean (UMC-Student); UMC LAW 2L; UMC LAW 3L; UMC LAW 1-L
Subject: RE: Puppy Sitting

Apparently we all have the technological ability to address a message to more than 250 people. Why do we have access to this forum without permission if the rules referenced at http://iatservices.missouri.edu/e-mail/mass/policy.html require permission? Furthermore, the rules appear to prohibit many kinds of non-emergency communications that we routinely receive ("such as campus events, advertising, or other promotional activities"). It seems that there is a double standard of censorship favoring commercial speech over social speech and a bias favoring centralized institutional authority over individual responsibility and interpersonal voluntary cooperation. These perceived double standards and biases are incongruent with the partnership paradigm central to the mission of the Law School to foster alternative dispute resolution. I think it is particularly important for sub-parts of the university (i.e. law school, departments, etc.) to be able to communicate without limitation to some arbitrary number of addressees.

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Yes, its a little odd sounding. I laughed myself when I read it at first, but the next email from a 3L named Captain Pirate (names have been changed to protect the innocent-ish) really really pissed me off....

Tony,

with all do respect...maybe you should learn ConLaw before you start throwing out bogus ConLaw terms. You try hard, but it just doesn't work. What you say just doesn't really mean anything. Learn the terms first. I'd leave it to your brother Antwaun because he definitely said it best.

Nice work, but just wait until next year. I promise, you'll feel much better about yourself.

Again, with all do respect...a 3L. That's all you need to know. Let Antwaun talk, if anyone really needs to.

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Jesus fucking Christ! What a rude and condescending way to address someone in a fucking mass email. So I decided to research Tony Nenninger. It took me less than five seconds on Google to discover dozens of links about Tony. He was a PARTY IN A FUCKING 8TH CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEALS FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION CASE!!!! He may not have the formal knowledge that "Captain Pirate" has, but he took a case all the fucking way up to the fucking 8th Circuit.

Move over Devine -- Captain Pirate is now King Douche.

Okay. I'm done. I feel better. Oh yeah - here's the email I sent Captain Pirate(not a mass email one, but it would be wonderful if it was)...

From:	Breezy, Jeezy (UMC-Student)	Sent:	Fri 10/7/2005 1:44 AM
To:	Pirate, Captain (UMC-Student)

Whoops!

Darlin, I hate to be the one to break this to you... but you just made yourself look like a complete jackass. I don't know Mr. Nenninger, but I did a little research on him...

U.S. v. Nenninger
351 F.3d 340

Yeah. You can check it out yourself on Westlaw. He didn't win his 8th Circuit case, but it sure looks like his real world experience has trumped our little legal educations. I hope you're proud of the way you sounded in that mass email -- personally I'm embarrassed for you. What gives you the right to think yourself superior to someone simply because you are two years ahead of them in law school?

I hope you email Tony and apologize for being such a dick.

-Julia-

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Hahah... I hate douchebags. Anger has passed. Time for sleep. I saw Broken Flowers tonight. I had a few qualms with it, but overall Bill Murray is amazing. [Ah... Lolita!]