I like my beats hard like 2 day old shit
Wow. So Jerry is this guy who comes around our house every few months when he needs money. He does yardwork, hangs christmas lights, etc... When he came by today, I was lounging on the porch in a semi-haze and offered him a beer. We sat on the porch and talked for way too long. Picture it. Sicily. A black 50 year-old "St. Louis mafia" veteran and a 24 year-old white chick law student. Holy fuck.
We had a great talk, but I noticed something that has been driving me crazy lately. What is with all this advice? My aunt called me a few days ago and was spouting advice like... a garden hose... full of advice...
Why do adults I keep talking to simply pour advice all over me? Why can't they just engage me in conversation without imparting on me all of their "wisdoms"?
My Aunt's Advice - A Summary:
1. Be true to yourself.
2. People in love are stupid.
3. You should go to the hospital when you feel bad.
4. Cancer will kill you if it has the chance.
Jerry's Advice - A Summary:
1. Be true to yourself.
2. Condoms are unnecessary as long as you don't have sex with filthy people.
3. People from Kansas City and people from St. Louis hate each other. Don't try to deny or change that.
4. Jefferson City is filled with racists.
5. If you have to kill a motherfucker, you have to kill a motherfucker. However, if that motherfucker is a teenage kid, ask if you can speak to their father first so you can tell them that their kid is going to get killed.
Who would you listen to? I'm putting my money on Jerry.
posted by Julia @ 2:01 PM
5 Comments:
My advice to you is this:
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
There’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
And I don’t know why,
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye.
I guess that's actually Roxette's advice. Man, I LOVE Roxette!
So my advice to you is to go out and buy a Roxette cassette, put it in your boom box and walk around downtown (i.e., "The District") blaring some sweet tunes.
TTYL,
xxROXETTEFAN#1xx
Jerry used to date your aunt, and I can see where the attraction was now.
Hey when are we going to Larry the Cable Guy's Health Inspector? I have fascinating things to tell you about the beer and pretzel economy!
Well well well....
Sharon Ryan. We finally meet again.
I know that your "headaches" and mulletted child are probably crippling you right now, but keep this in mind...
I will destroy you. Oh yes. I WILL destroy you.
Econ 4 sux 4 Ever!!!!
but thank Jesus for its friendship-forming powers
Burma!
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