a snippet from my mental newspaper...

Wanted - Personal Assistant

Up & coming legal hotshot seeks a dedicated personal assistant. No pay. The universal truth & wisdom I will impart in you will be more than enough psychic payment. Must be available 24 hours a day, 8 days a week. Must enjoy puns, quips, sarcastic scoffs. Must carry all of my shit to school every morning. Must keep me on track. Must buy me good bottled water -- none of that Dasani crap.

Send further inquiries to:

J. Breezy, future esq.
420 Oh My Fucking God I can't stand being in law school any longer
Columbia, MO

Republicans need not apply. I'm serious. Don't write me. Don't invite me to church {C-c-c-caaanyon}.