Just like a ghost you've been a-haunting my dreams
Behold: Chuck Cunningham Syndrome!!
Who knew?! It's a fucking epidemic in American sitcoms!
So yesterday I spent hours upon hours doing a little project for Pretrial Lit. We were assigned to stalk our professor on the internets [that's him on the right. you should really watch the short - directed by his little broheim - VAMPIRE VALENTINES DAY!], come up with as much information as we could find about him, and present it to class today. Yeah. I know. I was made for this shit. While I thought I'd honed my internet stalking skillz over the years, I was totally unaware of the Boone County Assessor's website. TREASURE TROVE! You can look up the titles to any property in Boone County. Wooot! I found the chain of title to the house we're living in now. Formerly owned by Margaret LLoyd. Next, I went to the Tribune and typed her name into the Archive Search. Lookit what I found from January 3rd 2001:
Last Wednesday morning, an 88-year-old Columbia woman was found dead on her front porch, apparently of hypothermia. Nearby residents last spoke with Margaret Lloyd of 202 West Boulevard S. about 9:30 a.m. the preceding day, Meyer said. The same people who spoke with her found her body about 10 a.m. last Wednesday. She apparently had stepped outdoors to get a newspaper, Meyer said. At the time, she was dressed for cold weather but wearing slippers. Lloyd apparently fell on the porch and was unable to get back inside her house, which was not locked. Meyer said people familiar with Lloyd said she had a bad heart and suffered from an asthmatic condition. She also had recently complained of difficulty breathing, he said.
I can't go out there now without thinking about her. Do you think she tripped on that old, shoddy outdoor carpet that's nailed to the floor? Do you think she suffered? Eerie...
I fully intend to clean up those cigarette butts that are littering the front porch... but I'm under the influence... so I'll probably be tripping all over shit while I do it.
My own hipster doofus memorial service for Margaret.
posted by Julia @ 7:22 PM
5 Comments:
Did somebody say Ouija Board?!?
"So what are you doing tonight, Julia?"
"Oh. You know. The usual. Summoning the spirit of the lady who passed away on my front porch from the dead. Hopefully she'll smoke with us."
Do you think she knows how to use a zong?
Thanks for smoking me out....for free...nightly. But its definately had a detrimental effect on my evening bridge game with my other ghost friends that, incedentally, takes place in your living room. Oh that missing slice of pizza? yeah that was me, sorry. I've got some cash stashed away underneath the floor that you can help yourself too (can't trust those jewish bankers at Boone County Bank after the bust of '29). Also I watch you and Ryan when you take showers.
P.S. I'll be seeing you for a little chit-chat this next Christmas Eve.
Of course she knows how to use a zong. That's the first thing they teach you in Afterlife Night School.
Not coincidentally, Afterlife Night School is the name of my new Monday-night CBS drama. Academy Award-winner Marisa Tomei is the lead.
Thanks for the link, Julia. Nice meeting you.
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