True American Girl -- Julia at 9 years old.

Today I pulled out my diary from 3rd grade. Horrifying. 1991. Ohhh.. No sirr.... Not just any diary...

A 365 days a week Official American Girl Diary with 2 X 2-inch spaces for my innermost thoughts & feelings! After a close examination of this.. document... it appears that I was psychotic at nine years old. Also a poor speller. And a flake. I also may have confused my life for Valley of the Dolls. Directly from the source -- prepare to be royally annoyed by a petulant child:

About Me -- "I live at 2833 Olde Chelsea. My favorite things to do are play Nintindo, watch TV, eat. My favorite things to wear are my blue jeans and a compfertable shirt. My best friend is named Andrea Schumacher Jackie Thelen Marissa Koch. We are friends because we never get into fights and we like each other. When I grow up, I want to be an actress."

1.1.91 -- Dear Diary, Today is New Year's Day and my boyfriend's birthday! Well, I like him but, I don't know if he likes me his name is Tim.
[NOTE: All spelling mistakes will be included. If you look hard enough where they're placed, you'll see my shame triple!! PS ~ You'll also notice that I've always been obsessed with post scripts.]
1.2.91 -- Dear Diary, Today I went with my mom to our church and she worked, but I watched TV.
1.3.91 -- Dear Diary, Today was my dad's birthday. We had the worst tasting chocolate pie! No school today. Bad weather.
1.4.91 -- Dear Diary, Today i told my friend Jackie that I like Tim and she told the whole class! Tim didn't belive this so he asked me and I said yes he was so embarrassed
1.5.91 -- Dear Diary, Today I talked with my friend Andrea on the phone for an hour! And tonight our whole family watched Ghostbusters the Movie.
1.6.91 -- Dear Diary, Today I wrote a note to Tim.
PS: I don't think Tim likes me.
1.7.91 -- Dear Diary, Tonigt we went to layschool it was SO boring. Today at school my friend Megan asked me if I like Andrea and I said kind of. Andrea heard us and asked what we were doing so I said we were talking about Jackie. Megan said I was a great lyer.
1.8.91 -- Dear Diary, Tonight my best friend Andrea is spending the night. Say hi Andrea "HI!"
PS: (because her brother is in the hospitle)
1.9.91 -- Dear Diary, Andrea's still here! Today at school Tim said he likes me a little!
1.10.91 -- Dear Diary, Guess what, Andrea for her birthday is letting Stephanie H. spend the night Friday [the 11th] and not me. It's so unfair.
1.11.91 -- Dear Diary, Tonight Andrea was having her party and I wasn't invited! She didn't call me to tell me the time so I couldn't come! We were going to go see a movie.
PS: I WAS ONE OF THE FINALLEST'S IN THE SPELLING BEE.
1.12.91 -- Dear Diary, Today I went to my friend Robin's birthday party I going to be mean to Andrea and say that she and Stephanie missed a great party.
PS: Robin's birthday is the 19th and Shayna my favorite babysitter is baby sitting tonight.
1.13.91 -- Dear Diary, Today at church I thought up a new comic strip called Semi Ala High.
PS: I hate Andrea Very, very, much.
1.14.91 -- Dear Diary, I can't believe it! We have school tomorrow. I mean I'm really ticked off. Ya know what Andrea is trying to steal Tim from me
1.15.91 -- Dear Diary, Today me and my friend Jackie and my friend Megan wrote a really bad note to New Kids on the Block.
1.16.91 -- Dear Diary, Today I didn't go to school because I wasn't feeling good. I had sinus drainage.
1.17.91 -- Dear Diary, Tommorrow is the all school spelling bee. Me and my best friend Jackie made an I hate New Kids club. {awful smiley face picture}
1.18.91 -- Dear Diary, At the spelling bee I spelled biscuit wrong.
PS: I hate Andrea and I hate the New Kids on the Block.
1.19.91 -- Dear Diary, Today me and my mom went shopping I got a cool ultra green and black wallet. Then I got a Wilson Phillips tape!
PS: My dad loves Wilson Phillips, the group.
1.20.91 -- Dear Diary, Tommorrow I'm going to Matthew's house for the day. And in three days we're going to put my dog A.Y. to sleep. And the 22nd is my mom's birthday.
PS: Tomorrow we don't have school for Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday!
1.21.91 -- Dear Diary, Today Kristy mom's best friend and Matthew's mom. Told me that the 25th and tomorrow she's going to have a surprize B.D. party for her and she's going to stuff little notes all over our house.
PS: She has a key.
1.22.91 -- Dear Diary, The 24th at school we're having career day. I don't know how models dress so I'm going to be a spy.
1.23.91 -- Dear Diary, Tommorrow is career day at school. I've changed my mind and I'm going to be a lawyer.
1.24.91 -- Dear Diary, Today is my friend Jackie's birthday. Tim was a rapper he lookes so cute.
1.25.91 -- Dear Diary, Tonight I started wearing deoderent, and tonight I'm sleeping in the basement.
PS: We're not going to put A.Y. to sleep yet!
1.26.91 -- Dear Diary, Nothing happend today so boy was I BOARD! But this morning I watched Saturday morning cartoons.
1.27.91 -- Dear Diary, Today Justin (my age) and Josh (his older brother) came over because we had to watch them.
PS: Me and Justin are good friends.
1.28.91 -- Dear Diary, Today I stayed home alone for like 7 hours! It was SO fun.
PS: P.S. stands for Pond Scum. Ha! Ha!
1.29.91 -- Dear Diary, Today we had a sub Mrs. Whitelock. I HATE HER!!
1.30.91 -- Dear Diary, Today we got our report cards, and I got all A's!
1.31.91 -- Today we went outside for recess, I got my shoes ALL muddy.

.................

Just like Grey's Anatomy!! A sexy cliffhanger!!! Who will I choose? Tim? Matthew? Justin? Will the mud ever come off my shoes?!?

I know. I don't care either. Strange that I settled for being a lawyer so early in my life. Man, what a horrible suburban existence I led as a child! At least you can take comfort in the fact that while writing this diary during the month of January 1991, in the quiet of my entirely pink bedroom, I made out a few times with both Justin AND Matthew. My mom would've killed me if she read that shit in my diary. I kept it clean because I'm pretty sure that she read it often. Sheeeeeiiiitt... I would have done the same thing if I was her.

That little lady got around when she was 9!

Tim? No... I never made out with him.... {NPH-style look off into the distance}