An Anthem... of sorts...

I have to stand up. The time is long overdue. I'm going to lay down some domestic shit right about now. Don't be scared. I almost know what I'm talking about. See, I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to household products and suburban food items. I like to test out new products. Compare name and generic brands. So listen up. Because i'm dropping some real truths about some important items in your shopping cart:

Episode 1 ~ Fuck You, Lil' Glove

Annie's Organic Skillet Meals -- We were browsing around the Natural Foods section at Hy-Vee (shout out, Glenn's friend who came to my New Years Eve party with Scattergories Junior! Shout out!) and were looking for something easy to make for dinner. I happened upon all of these. Glorious. We chose the Organic Cheddar & Herb Chicken variety. Easy to make. Delicious. They're like Hamburger Helper, but they encourage you to use tofu in place of chicken ("firm" is always superior to all other forms of tofu), they don't smell like chemicals when cooking, and they taste damned good at 3:15 am when you want to eat something cold, straight out of the refrigerator at 3:15 am.

So you should get some. They don't cost too much. They're fabulous. You can buy them at Glenn's work. Or Gerbe's. But if they have it in their pathetic excuse for a "natural" section at Gerbe's, it will probably be covered in dust and on the verge of expiration (even though it just came out, but Gerbe's is like a black whole for freshness). Don't get me wrong. I love Gerbe's. Hy-Vee is just far superior. Nullus.



Get your broke ass out the club if you ain't gon' tip... Can I get paid?!