Valley of the What?!

Yeah. Its 4:00 am. I can't sleep tonight. I'm also sober, so there's no fun in being alone & awake this late.

I'm half-watching Valley of the Dolls on AMC right now. I've never seen it before and the only reason I'm watching it is because of this description I saw while browsing the listings on Yahoo TV:

Three young women turn to pills because of their lives in show business. From the Jacqueline Susann book. Adult Situations; Language. Cast: Barbara Parkins, Patty Duke, Sharon Tate

Based on the above summary, you would think that this movie is going to be a drug-themed slapstick romp through the zany world of Hollywood -- similar to my very favorite comedy, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, but starring a bunch of sexy ladies who cuss and get into "adult situations" {translation: TITTIES}. Bonus feature ~~ one of the stars was later killed by Charles Manson's crew (no homo).

WRONG.

These white bitches is crazy. Yes they're on drugs, but instead of showing them being all high and having fun like normal people on drugs --- they show them spinning around in front of a black backdrop. Twirling colorful scarves. Then they quickly devolve into drugged out weirdo mean girls. While it's true that Sharon Tate was later killed by Charles Manson's crew, I was struck with the realization that SHE SUCKS IN THIS MOVIE. What a legacy, eh? Her seminal role will always be this uptight drugged out white lady actress pissing her life away in the rolling hills of California. Somebody should chastize her for such a poor performance... oh... wait a minute...

Okay. This is quite hilarious now. Patty Duke said "Boobies, boobies, boobies. Nothin' but boobies. Who needs em?" For true. Check out some of these amazing quotes on imdb.



"Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag... and I'm the dame who can prove it."