I am the Thursday NY Times Crossword Puzzle's Bitch
I finished Wednesday's puzzle without any aid. Except for Pappy. And Tim Brown -- but he was out to mess me up. The undertaking of today's puzzle was not as successful. I'm stuck. Fucking stuck. Too many esoteric clues. "Makes good cense?" "Emperor before Vitellius" (Nero?) Motherfucker.
I know. I know. My vanity is growing by leaps & bounds. So I was curious as to how many times my blog was actually being seen and I signed up on one of those sites that counts how many people visit your blog. Because I'm vain. I know. D-Bag City.
I've been signed up on this thing for about 3 weeks now. Here are my latest stats. Woop Woop!!
-- Site Summary ---
Visits
Total .......................... 559
Average per Day ................. 18
Average Visit Length .......... 1:08
This Week ...................... 127
Page Views
Total ........................ 1,034
Average per Day ................. 37
Average per Visit .............. 2.1
This Week ...................... 261
-----------------------------------------------------
Pretty darned popular, eh? 1:08 minutes is plenty of time to soak in my essence. Seeing that I only look at this thing about 100 - 150 times a day, that leaves a lot of page views! I hope that most of them are hapless passersby who are only looking for those terrible travel blogs made by neuvo-hippie rich kids enamored with Thai culture and Japanese schoolgirls.
On the other hand, a little piece of me is hoping that there is a socially awkward, slightly autistic man out there. Hunched over one of the free computers at the Daniel Boone County library. Frantically checking my blog every few minutes. Waiting. Hoping. Yearning for a new post. Surrounded by Google maps of my house. Spewed from the 5 cent printer in the corner. He could be wearing a t-shirt with my face on it, but that might be crossing into the Creepy Zone.
Anyway. The "Seven" episode of Seinfeld is on right now. I love 11:00 pm on Channel 11.
Ryan & I are getting caller I.D.!!!! Take THAT, government agents who are probably monitering our phone calls because I say "bomb" "kill" and "White House" all the time in allll of my phone conversations!
Love,
Lady J
Kramer's riding a girls bike.
posted by Julia @ 9:01 PM
15 Comments:
How nice to see another crossword-puzzle obsessed person!
That would be crossing into creepy zone, which is why I keep that shirt where it belongs...on the mannequin that I sleep with every night.
Glenn: I need my my mannequin back. You've had it for far too long.
Shoutz to Lady J-bird. Props!
my presciousssssss .....
Friday's puzzle left me sobbing softly in the corner for an hour or so. It is a tremendous blow to my massive ego to only be able to reliably complete the monday snooze-fest teen/celebrity jeopardy level puzzle.
For this slight, I will banish the jew york times out of this country, possibly back to jew brunswick from whence it issued.
nerd aside:
Did you see the solution to Thursday's crossword? "Fee" "Fie" "Foe" and "Fum" were all supposed to fit in a FOUR LETTER SPACE. Then, the other 4 long words in the puzzle started with one of those four words (but squeezed into just a one letter space).
How are we supposed to know when 3 letters should be squished into just one space?
Will Shortz is out to get me.
i don't even try thursday's but yeah i saw that today and got all pissed about it. Fee fie fuck you, will shortz.
Ben - Where are you right now? Come over to my house. Headline News is on!!! I'm learning everything I need to know in just 30 minutes!!!
P.S. This isn't a trap.
"jew york times"? Wow, that's lovely anti-Semitism.
BTW, it was FEE, FI, FO, FUM. FIE and FOE don't work with the words, unless FOELKLORES and SCIFIE are word.
I whipped through the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday puzzles in less than 7 minutes apiece. Clearly, I'm much smarter than the anti-Semitic crowd.
Those were innocent typos, you humorless, blood-drinking Shylock.
Benjamin's a Hebrew name, of course.
crap, i've been outed!
Wait wait.. Anonymous solved the Saturday puzzle in less than 7 minutes?
Is "Anonymous" really Ben's mom or Ben's ego? Sneaky Hebrew.
Or maybe Anonymous is really Data, from Star Trek the Next Generation. Only a robot could perform such a brilliant feat.
I sure hope so!!
Anonymous doesn't know any of you people. And yes, I routinely finish the NYT puzzles quickly. Monday and Tuesday, typically under 3 minutes; Wednesday, under 4 minutes; Thursday, under 5 minutes; Friday, 4.5 to 7 minutes; Saturday, 5 to 10 minutes; Sunday, 7 to 11 minutes.
Confirmation.
Anonymous is a robot.
No doubt in my mind.
However -- in my rich tapestry of life experiences, I don't recall ever meeting a robot as elitist and anti-Semitic as Anonymous.
(Ben, you should hear the things Anonymous says to me when you're not around! They would make Heinrich Himmler blush!)
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