Why'd you feel so negated?

So much self-centeredness, shallowness, bitterness swirling around me.

I'm tired of this.

I don't think I'm up to par with law school. Always a little bit behind. Always a little bit slow. It makes me tired just thinking about it. Then it starts piling up. Then I'll never catch up. Finals are in a month. I'm running out of time.

What will I do if I'm gone from law school after this semester? Where will I work? Will I try to get back into school? Give up? Have a baby? Blah. No moneys. No moneys for babies.

I'm sick of feeling like this. I can only blame myself for the apathy, but I hate being unhappy. I hate toiling over a casebook all night just to stand up and walk to the bedroom. I can't operate like that.

I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel selfish and silly when I start to complain. "It's all my own fault!" "These genital warts are a sign from Jesus!"




So much idiot humor to mask a flailing, failing girl.




Oh! Bloc Party CD is awesome. I especially like tracks 4, 5 & 8. Lovely.

-Julia-