ben cox is a goddess, fer sher.

Drunken Rants & Ravings...

Can you believe this?

So I'm at Flat Branch tonight with Ted, Mike, Ben, Katie & my Lover Supremo. Katie & Ted are talking about Ballwin and I mention that I my former roommate is from Ballwin. KT Pollock. Ted lived with her older brother! Small, strange world we're occupying (until our Lord returns to reap our souls).

Luckily I was able to reach KT via telephone-machine in a drunken stupor once I returned home. KT will be joining us for drinks at some time in the short future. Things will be good. Life will work out.

As KT said tonight "Circles are colliding." I am enthralled. Battlecat is sitting behind me on the floor.. yelping? Cat noises are difficult to label. liable. ladle. ladel. citadel.

I've been drinking. I am satisfied. Time to watch recorded television shows with my Love Supremo.

Ryan is scanning pictures of his peener into the scanner. The world is right. The world is just. If GW is our president for 4 more years, I'm high-tailing it to British Columbia. Fuck some law school, dude. BC is the way to go.

Au revoir,

your mentor,

Abigail Van Buren

Femi-Nazi? Femi-Yatzee!

I hate days when I feel like a crazy, reactionary liberal... but I suppose those occasional days just come with the territory.

Canyon set me off yesterday morning with his hilarious "Femi-Nazi" talk ("No.. it's only a nickname... You're a good one.") Yeah yeah. He was attempting political humor, but it was a term coined by [his idol] fucking Rush Limbaugh. "Femi-Nazi" just gets to me sometimes. It's coined with so much contempt for feminism, so much contempt with feminist activists, grrrr... Makes me want to get all Bikini Kill up in their faces.

Then Jason made his usual Ayn Rand-style comments in Torts. I had to lay it on thick after that, but I was standing up for epileptics everywhere... (what?)

Then Tim started slamming affirmative action. It was just a messy day, but I think these lawyerin' skills are starting to shine in me. All of these structural arguments were floating through my head while we talked about affirmative action, and I was immediately able to pull out inconsistencies in his statements that I matched up to my points (note: this was all in one of those floating, brain filing cabinets). Perhaps this is "thinking like a lawyer"? Who knows. It felt pretty fulfilling.

Katie wore the same style of sweater that I did today. She will pay the ultimate price for her sins. We're going to Flat Branch for some dinner and drinking... on a Wednesday.

I'll get you, Dan Richardson,

Love,

Ramona the Pest

P.S. This, motherfucker....

Also, here is Dan's "blog." A pathetic attempt to copy my writing style, font style, and lifestyle.

http://danrproject.blogspot.com/

I'm going to take him down soon, so say your goodbyes to our dear "Friend."

P.S. - Dan, just out of curiosity's sake, what is your license plate number, social security number, and shoe size? It would make destroying you a whole lot easier.

Loves and Hugs and Procrastination Kisses,

J-Blog

The World Hates Dan Richardson

No. He’s not the bane of the world… just the world of my cats. I do miss Dan so much that sometimes my uterus aches and I have to lie down. Maybe that’s just my raging yeast infection that simply won’t quit… but maybe… just maybe… there is a little Dan/Julia seed, growing with the fuel of whisky and Diet Lemon Snapple.

I’m in the lawbrary right now. I’ve been here for an hour and a half, but have nothing at all done. Katie is flirting with some guy at the table next to me. Jason is staring at an attractive lady who is talking to Dave. The world is off-kilter. Perhaps Monday afternoons have that effect on everyone?

OH! Check this shit out… Good old Glenn Rehn… sleeping his way to the top.

http://www.digmo.com/utown/story.php?ID=9563

Notice that I had not a single quote in the article. That’s mainly because I told the reporter lies on top of lies about Glenn.

My favorite moment of my little interview, which should have gotten on there, was the part where the reporter asked me to compare Glenn to Brian T. Johnson, head of the College Republicans on campus. I said that Glenn is the anti-Brian, because Glenn Rehn is…

1. Highly intelligent
2. Extremely logical
3. Compassionate towards others
4. Not a fatty

(Oh! Suck on it, BT! Then tell me how it tastes!! No. Really. You’re not obese, just sturdy).

I’ve obtained the new album by The Faint (Wet from Birth). I highly recommend it. No… I fucking recommend it. It rocks my ass out of the car window. AND.. they’re coming to The Blue Note on the 28th of cOcktober (I think) along with TV on the Radio. Ohhh. I am going to dance until I pass out. I can’t wait.

I should go. This is my second attempt at this entry, because the first one disappeared into thin air. The second attempt is never as clever.. yeah.. that’s the ticket. Jon Lovitz isn’t as funny the second time around either.

Love,

Belligerent Barrister
“Kosher”
Number 69

Double Ewww.

Two horrible things from today (the good things will be added later):

1. I found out that Daryn Kagan (daytime anchor for CNN) is dating Rush fucking Limbaugh (pomous windbag drug addict). He puts his penis inside of her. Then she wakes up after a night of (brief) sex with him, and shows her boney mug on CNN all day.

2. Drew Carey has returned to civilization. He's temporarily hosting the Late Late Show, and has grown his hair out and bleached it. He looks like...

A. Ted Kennedy in an unfortunate midlife crisis

or

B. A pedophile who sits around the house watching Price is Right all day long (but is forced to record it on his BetaMax when he goes to court).

Oh! Sorry....

(the answer is C: a douchebag with the worst elements of A & B)

I'm up too late. Ryan is tucking me in to bed.

¿Quien es un papa?

I just woke up from a twelve hour sleep.

I had a dream that the law school people were all living in one big house on top of a bar in Boston. Mazur tried to rape me, but it was just a misunderstanding. (what?!)

Don't watch Cheers right before you go to sleep.

Don't watch the Real World... ever...

(unless it is the 4th season in London. That one was clever and well-acted)

I don't even know where to begin my study time. Perhaps several hours of tv will clear my head? Yes. I knew you would say that.

-WopCorn is good with peanut butter M&Ms-

The Shaggs Reunion Tour

Everyone in this building seems absolutely insane at times.

[Granted, I understand that people have dramatically different views than mine, but when hear them espouse ultra-conservative viewpoints as "fact," something drops in the pit of my stomach.]

We were in Torts today, debating the use of deadly force to defend property. One guy made this comment with no hesitation or reservation of thought ~ "I should be able to use any amount of force necessary to defend my property." I was said with such cynicism and lack of consideration for human life that it scrambled my brain. Any amount of force? How can someone so readily value property over another individual's life? Property is property, man. Ahhhh!!!!

This classroom discussion just didn't stop there, it kept going and rotating and growing into a horrible monster of hypotheticals that eventually led Texas Tom (talking himself into a corner? maybe? hilarious joke?) to say that even a 4-year-old child who breaks into a house is responsible for being killed by a shotgun rigged to go off if one opens the door.

Goo. I walked outside to take a break after class and almost didn't stop. I know that these people are (mostly) good people. I know that the purpose of the classroom debate was for us to swing from the extremes and open up a plethora of possibilities.

I know.

I know.

I know.

It just made me want to scream.

Time to read read read and never really grasp what the hell I'm supposed to understand. But I continue reading.


Sincerely,

Raymond J. Johnson Jr.

But you can call me Ray or you can call me Jay or you can call me Johnny or you can call me RJ or you can call me RJJ But you don't have to call me Johnson

"This will be my new favorite movie"

It always makes me leery when I hear people voice concrete statements about what they will and will not do in the future.

A few years ago, before Memento came out, I was talking to this guy (let's call him Justin) who had determined that this film would be his new favorite film. It wasn't slated to be released for a number of weeks, but he was still positive that he would love it. I thought it was just a fluke from that one conversation, but the more he talked about it in the days I spent around him, the more he stated just how much he would love Memento. Memento came out and I never heard him speak of the film again, which indicates to me that he wasn't terribly impressed.

Jason & I were at lunch the other day, and he stated that he's decided to sell out in the future and go corporate/large firm. When I heard that, all I could think about is Memento. Will making statements like that jinx me in the future? I'm fairly certain that I won't do corporate law, but will stating it as a matter of fact doom me to the hardwork/nopay lifestyle of public service law? Do I want to be a corporate lawyer? Is money my main reason for being in law school?

I'm supposed to see Garden State tomorrow night. I've really really wanted to see Garden State for a few weeks. I really really want this to be a favorite movie of mine, but I'm afraid to even guess if I'll enjoy it or not. It feels like I'm putting a curse on it by proclaiming that I will adore the film. Why do I have so much apprehension about predetermining my favorite movie, when I already feel so certain I won't pursue a career in corporate law? Movies must be more important than career. Yes. Movies are more important than career.

I will love Garden State. I will not love the career path of corporate lawyerin'.
I will love Corporate Lawyerin': The Movie. I will not live in the "Garden State."

I wrote this entire entry whilst balancing on just two chair legs. Jawsome.

Oh no...

I didn't think it was possible on this vast plane we call the internet.. but I've done it. I think that I've found the most pathetic website ever... check it out...

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/8441/

Goddamn that's sad.

Just thought I would share that. I'm procrastinating this Contracts case that is too long to be interesting.

Love,
Yer Mom

-----

5 minutes later.....

-----

No. Oh God no. I was wrong. This is even more pathetic.. and it's real. People put time and effort into these. Look at how seriously some of these were worked on.. Jesus...

http://www.fanfiction.net/list.php?categoryid=1057

What is your glitch?

Legally Retarded

Does sleep apnea cause someone to become "retarded"? Or does spending too much time reviewing case books cause this? Perhaps I've always been this way and it is just now coming out. Two incidents which prove my recent lapse into childlike idiocy...

1. The lesser of the two, but stupid nonetheless (how is that just one word?). So I've been practically failing these little computer assignments we have twice a week in my Legal Research & Writing class. I finally get an email from my professor informing me that I've been doing the wrong questions the entire time, granted that the two question sets are identical, but slight differences exist in what the answers should be. I wouldn't feel so bad except that I'm the ONLY person who has been doing the wrong sets. GAH!

2. Much worse than the first. So I get an email from Linda Jacobsen's campaign manager, telling me to make sure and watch Sunday's episode of "60 Minutes." Apparently there will be an interview with one of the lieutenants who gave Bush an easy ride in National Guard duty. Ryan and I start watching at exactly 6pm. The first story is on porn in America, next story is on Jeopardy!. The episode only has ten minutes left when I turn to Ryan and the following exchange takes place:

Me: "Will this guy's interview be on tonight?"

Ryan: "It should be. These interviews only take a few minutes."

Me: "Yeah, but they have to do a little story around it, right?"

Ryan: (I don't exactly remember, but something like "shut up, i've never loved you, etc...")

Me: (after a short period of intense thought on what may be holding up the interview) DOES AN EPISODE OF "60 MINUTES" LAST TWO HOURS?

I kid you not. I honestly thought that we could be watching a two hour program entitled "60 Minutes." I've been watching "60 Minutes" all of my life and I really truly thought that there was another hour left to the show. It turns out that the interview took place on Wednesday's episode, but that is beside the point.

Damn! I'm feeling stupid!

Bush is coming to town today at 3pm-ish. Makes my skin crawl. If Columbia is such a liberal safe haven in the red, rural, rolling hills of Mid-Missouri, why is Bush here and NOT Kerry?! Kerry has only gotten as far as Jeff City, and I sure as hell don't consider that a liberal stronghold in the state. Grrr... Protest. Protest. Protest.

Paul Pepper where are you?

Who am I writing this for, really? I don't expect to touch people with any unique wisdom or wittifications (that's a word now). Here's a new word "lawbrary." That's what the cool kids call the law library. I plan to spend the entire fucking day there tomorrow. My work ethic is on steroids right now. I feel like Mark McGuire. Only not as 'roidy and the father of a fat kid who looks nothing like me. Remember that kid? I do. Quite often.

OOoohhhh... Guess where Ryan just went... Wal*Mart. I know. I'm shocked. Wal*Mart is where poor people and fat people go.. Ryan is neither of those! He says he went to get a new "game," but I'm sure that he's off cheating on me. With someone he met at Wal*Mart. That was his way of subconsciously confessing his tryst.

Okay. This is getting absurd. I'm having an off night. I'm the opposite of sharp or funny. I need to read and I'll find anything to keep me from doing it.

Ben Affleck wrote an article on John Kerry's daughters in the recent issue of Harper's Bazaar. I know. It made me nauseous too. Granted, he has an Oscar for screenwriting.. but I think this piece proves that Matt Damon did all of the work while Ben sat at the computer and online gambled. Oh! Online gambling! I haven't done that in awhile. Maybe it's time to pick that hobby up again. Au revoir.

The New Me

Finally, the world is graced with the presence of yet another unoriginal, uninspired weblog. I didn't even have to pay money for it! I have a Catwoman journal, but writing in it is too taxing on the wrist. Case briefs and the occasional class note are using up all of the ink in my pen. So, instead of composing my thoughts and complaints on paper, why not collect them here... on the internet... where everyone else can see them. I admit. I'm a narcissist... but so is anyone else who has started a blog. Unless you are tracking your heroic battle out of drug addiction and cancer. Then you are being brave and selfless... no. wrong. still a narcissist.

It's 8:29am (oh.. "Georgia" numbers are beauuutiful) 123456789. I love this font.

So it's 8:29 on a Sunday morning, and no one else is awake or should be awake this early. Fiddling with your internal clock can make you do crazy things. Like waking up at 8:29 on a Sunday morning.

I will revisit this thing again. Soon. I promise.