Heads up, sluts!

Blood clots! I knew there was truth in my neurotic obsession with dying of a blood clot. Check this shit out. Ortho-Evra will kill you! Kill you!! Thank Allah for that hot tub incident in Ste. Genevieve. If not for that water jet blasting off my patch, I would still be sporting one today. Also I might be dead of a blood clot.

Luckily, the NuvaRing is still the best and most amazing birth control "device" in the Western world. Woo Hoo!! Take that, Patches.

Oh. This is also sad news. I no longer have a reason to vacation in Vietnam. Way to go, Tribune. You've killed my high once again.

Back to class!

Fair Housing is kickass today. We're going to watch a video in a few minutes! VIDEO!!! BLOOD CLOT!!!