I'm the last of the good old fashioned steam-powered trains

Paragraphs escape me right now. My life in list form:

1) Custom Muffler quoted me $4,000 to rebuild my transmission. I told Jon their quote. He simultaneously balked and scoffed so hard that his brain exploded out the back of his head. When the brain goo was cleaned off my wall, he recommended Privitt Auto Service on Sexton Rd. Good move. They also balked and scoffed at Custom's price and are currently fixing up my transmission (and speedometer! wooot!) for $2,300. Still high, but much better than $4,000. Fuckin' Custom. Seriously, don't go there if you can avoid it.

2) I just went to the Better Business Bureau's website and filed a complaint against Custom Muffler. In writing up my comment, I listed my age as 23 for some reason. I've been 24 since December. I should know that by now.

3) This morning at 7:30, I woke up from a dead sleep to blood-curdling screams. I thought someone was getting raped outside my window or getting murdered in the street below. No such luck. You want to know what it was? MY FUCKING NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET. HAVING A PARTY AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING. IN THEIR FRONT YARD. The screaming and drunken chanting continued until... well.. they're still out there right now. At 4:40pm. Although now half of them are either passed out on the lawn or asleep on the couch. Yes, in the front yard. They managed to drag a couch out into the middle of their lawn. Fuckin' kids. 19 year olds give me a headache.

4) Speaking of, I was getting my hurr did yesterday at the Strand. I mentioned to Carla that I watched a video of myself when I was 19 and apologized to her for insisting on keeping those hideous bangs of mine. We both had a moment of existential crisis when we realized that I've been her client for six years now. SIX YEARS. I'm getting old. At least Carla has kickass purple hair at the moment. Have you seen it? She's the greatest. To lessen the blow, she sassed mine up, too! Fire engine red chunks, muthafuckas! I know you secretly love it.

5) My parents are going camping tonight for the first time ever (no joke! We were people of the suburbs). They're going to get drunk with their Republican friends and sleep in their mini-van. I'll be expecting a whiny phone call around... midnight? Yeah. I'm thinking midnight. Good luck, suckers!

6) I'm finally going to see Little Miss Sunshine tonight. Hopefully. Call me if you want to go with us. It's going to be a ragtag group of mercenary soldiers and Catholic missionaries, so you'll surely fit in.

7) Lazy Saturday indeed. No photos. No links. Just straight shit talkin'