Newsflash!

No posts since December?! Whaaaaa? You probably won't even read this because you think I've been sucked into a black hole. Your loss. Here are some exciting and interesting news items:

-- I was just watching the Today Show. NBC's perpetually neglected weekend news anchor, Lester Holt, was doing a story about that idiot who skydives whilst wearing flying squirrel wings. When Matt Lauer asked if he went along for a jump, Holt told him "Homey don't jump out of airplanes." It was my favorite Today Show moment in recent memory.

-- I got my dream J-O-B!!! Boone County's newest Assistant Public Defender. Wooot! I was always told that no one gets hired for this branch straight out of law school, but I'm smooth like that. Can I talk about it on this blog? Probably not. So I'll stick to the important stuff. Like this. Yikes! I need to stop picking on those Clinton supporters before I get stabbed.

-- Check out the last paragraph of this story. Oh Arch Brooks, will I ever grow tired of your shenanigans?

-- Time to watch Price is Right. I wish I was kidding.