Beware, John Travolta!

One step closer to a real life Face/Off.

I've said it many, many times before and I'll say it again:

This technology is extremely dangerous [as seen in the critically acclaimed film]. These medical "breakthroughs" are a matter of national security and the President should step in and declare war on France before my favorite movie becomes a reality... a horrible, nightmarish reality.

Back to Con Law.

What's that sound?!

Finally, the technology has been developed.

The next logical step - a reverse machine that lures strapping teenage boys to my van.

My plans are almost complete.

IIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Procrastination Central

What I should be doing right now:
- getting my headlight fixed
- reading missed Con Law assignments {30+ pages}
- crafting a kickass Con Law outline
- researching for the Gender & Law paper revision
- making my final revisions to the paper
- finishing my Evidence outline {which already does kick ass}

What I am doing right now:
- listening to Velvet Underground
- giving Battlecat the Stink Eye
- deciding between (a) Dairy Queen chicken strips w/ buttermilk ranch sauce or (b) a Clif Bar for lunch
- wondering how many pennies I can swallow in one sitting

Thanksgiving Break is not as productive and work-centric as I had planned.
Also I have to drive to St. Charles on Thursday.
Also I don't want to.

Best Sexin' Playlist - 2005

iTunes is kind to me on occasion. Here is the best sex background music playlist ever randomly composed by Steve Jobs' baby:

Feist - Leisure Suite
Bob Dylan - Just Like a Woman
The Shins - Your Algebra
Le Tigre - Seconds
Eazy E (slap in the face to Dre, y'all)- Real Muthafuckin G's
Cat Stevens - I Think I see the Light
....and other songs I forgot to write down


Ddddaaaaaamn!!! That's a piece of one cold-stone-fox-sexy playlist!!! You feel me?!

Sex is good to Le Tigre. Also to Eazy E (personal hero).

Love,
Lil' Eazy Sleezy J Breezy

Tom Cruise was RIGHT!

Aaahahhaaaha... so I was just on Wikipedia, reading all of the 9-11 conspiracy theories, when I found my very favorite one:

"The Church of Scientology claims that the 9/11 hijackers were brainwashed by psychiatrists, who were the real masterminds behind the attacks, despite the fact that none of the hijackers ever visited psychiatrists."

Here is the awesome article that delves into the crazy Scientologist theory.

Who know Tom Cruise was right?! Psychiatrists ARE evil!

"You don't live life as a wolf and expect everything to come up okay, do you?"

I'm stuck at home. I feel like a 4th grader with chicken pox (except without chicken pox). So basically I feel like a 4th grader. I almost made it to class today, but my car wouldn't turn over when I tried to start it. AAA came over and couldn't jump start it. So they towed my precious little car to Custom Muffler. I can't leave the house without catching a ride, I can't make it to Con Law. Puke. Here I sit.

Oh shit! TEEN WOLF TOO IS ON!!! Jason Bateman's finest. Much better than Hogan Family. Or Valerie's Family. My favorite part of this movie is the title. I like how they made it "Too" instead of "2." It spices up the hopeless, pathetic nature of sequels to quasi-shitty movies.

Out of sheer boredom, I've been observing Dr. Baby today. I thought that when Ryan & I left for school/work/bullshit, that he was productive (i.e. making crafts, inventing games, chasing bugs).

[Oh shit. Jason Bateman is transforming into Teen Wolf at the DANCE!!! He's freaking out the LAAADIES!!]

Anyway, I've discovered today that Dr. Baby is useless. When we're gone, he just lays around the house and looks out the window! Can you believe that bullshit?! I'm thinking of having him put down. I hope this will be a wake-up call to Battlecat.

[Teen Wolf Too sez: "I just had a beard all over my body! Nails the size of french fries! Teeth the size of TEXAS! She called me a dog!"]

This role as Teen Wolf Too probably grew Jason Bateman up fast. After enduring the pain and torture of randomly transforming into a Teen Wolf, how could he possibly return to his carefree life as a teen heartthrob?

The news is crap today. I just watched CNN for 20 minutes while they detailed the "bad weather" threat facing southern Missouri, Little Rock & Memphis. Also, baseball is setting out a new steroids policy. I. Don't. Care.

hahahah.... here is a conversation that Teen Wolf Too and his nerd girlfriend are having under an oak tree:

Princess Nerd: "biologically speaking, it's absolutely fascinating what's happening to you!"

Teen Wolf Too: "but i'm a dog."

Princess Nerd: "you'll be okay.. you will."

{now they're kissing. totally romantic.}

Time for me to go. I can't pull myself away from this movie. The evil kid who wears sunglasses in the boxing ring is giving Teen Wolf the Stink Eye.

this is what i do when i'm on drugs.

narcissism runs wiiiiild!!

posting pictures is so much easier than thinking...

"..Now what I'm about to tell you is so twisted, not only is a man in the cabinet, but the man is a midget..." -R. Kelly - Trapped in the Closet Chapter 9

I wanted to hit Maureen Dowd...

Erin sent me this link last Monday to Maureen Dowd's new book excerpt in NY Times Magazine. When I first saw the title ('What's a Modern Girl to Do?'), I was kind of excited "Oh! She's going to evaluate the state of feminism today..." So so wrong. It was a depressing read on top of an already depressing day (Scalito hasn't won me over quite yet, but I'll have to ask my husband's permission to form an opinion on him). As I first read it, a hopeless feeling washed over me. The second time I read it, I got really really pissed off. She repeatedly relayed personal anecdotes and turned those into blanket truths about the current state of feminism and its (apparently) negative impact on modern men and women. Gooo! Made me mad.

So today, still rolling the anger around in my head, I stumbled on a large number of honest, thoughtful, and sometimes saucy responses to Dowd's excerpt. It feels good to know that other women/feminists/sassafrasses were as pissed off by what she wrote as I was. Last week I wanted to hit Maureen Dowd. This week I roll my eyes at her, but I still love that damned column of hers. Her November 5th comparison of the Bush Administration to the catty girls in "Heathers" and "Mean Girls" was brazilliant.

Also, there is a huge article about Sarah Silverman in this week's Rolling Stone. Click on the link. You absolutely have to read it. She blows my mind. After reading the story, I kind of wish I could be her (but without having to sleep with Jimmy Kimmel).

GAH!

I'm sitting in an extended Con Law class right now. Instead of giving us a make-up day in one dose, Esbeck has chosen to slowly draw out this make-up shit. While we usually get out of class at 4:05pm, we're getting out today (and tomorrow and yesterday and the day before) at 4:25. Twenty extra minutes tacked on to the end of class. Twenty minutes feels like an hour.

My brain is failing. I can't think of a word that I use every day. Since I have 15 minutes left to ponder this, I'll torture you with my torturous torturing question of torture...

So he was covering two federal cases that are both still good law. The cases were Buckley v. Valeo and Russ v. Sullivan, but that doesn't matter at all. So I type in my notes: "How to ______ Buckley & Russ?" It's a "c" word. It means to operate under both at the same time. I can't think of it. Maybe it doesn't even exist. My brain hurts!

Jesse is sitting next to me in class right now. She's whispering "c" words. Loudly. Esbeck totally hates her.

No, it's not cocksucker cancer!

Never forget who you are...

In honor of Rosa Parks passing, I thought it would be appropriate to remember the struggles and victories attained by those who came before us. We all have a special place in our hearts for the momentous, ground-breaking achievements of our predecessors. Middle class white suburban girls, don't forget your heritage.

Jawesome!